Thursday, May 12, 2011
Don't tell my daughter, but I snuck a pair of her jeans out of the laundry (the clean laundry) and tried them on! She wears a 14, I WAS a 16, but not anymore! Woohoo!
For those of you who are keeping track, no I didn't weigh in on Tuesday. I missed my meeting again. I didn't skip like I did on my birthday. My daughter had a band concert so I chose her instead of my meeting.
I am excited, though, to get into smaller jeans.
Sunday is "Senior Sunday" at our church. I have a senior and I am going to have to stand up in front of everyone with my husband and daughter. This is my VERY LEAST favorite thing to do. I am happy to work behind the scenes but I hate, hate, hate standing up in front of everyone.
So, I'll shop today and tomorrow to find something that isn't jeans (my usual church wardrobe - I work in children's church). Maybe a dress? I hate to spend the money because I am committed to still losing about 40 lbs. (Isn't that exciting to say 40 instead of 50? )
Wish me luck. You know I hate shopping. Maybe I'll find some cute shoes to make it all easier.
(click on the picture to see my favorite jeans of all time. Gap, perfect boot cut. I luuuv their curvy, too)
Monday, May 9, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Well, friends, I didn't do so good the past couple of weeks. If you recall, last week, instead of attending my meeting and getting weighed I went out for my birthday. I splurged because it was my birthday. Since then, however, I have really fallen off watching what I eat. I have been "eyeballing" portions, eating out frequently and, while trying to order healthy, really not making wise choices. So, last night the weigh in, for two weeks, was only 1.6 lbs lost. FOR TWO WEEKS! I believe that part of that was gaining back what I'd lost the week before my birthday. In fact I know it was because according to my bathroom scale I'm up two to three pounds from what I was on my birthday. Wow! It's really easy for it to come back.
So I'm back on regular schedule. My total weight loss to date is 9.8 lbs. I am pleased with that. I'd never thought it possible only one month ago. I am, however, disappointed in myself for my lack of control the last week.
Now for dresses. I love dresses! I adore dresses! but at my size I feel like a giant balloon in them. I see other "women of size" wearing dresses and they look so cute, but when I pick one out, well, it just doesn't suit me. I feel my lack of desire to shop (see here) added to my complete lack of skill in picking clothes keeps me in tshirts and capri pants most of my days.
Here are some dreamy dresses I hope to get into one day. I realize I won't be one of the size 0-2 models, but when I reach my goal I'll be able to wear these with confidence. (Click on the pictures and it'll take you to their respective websites.)
I know they are simple, not bold colors (except for the yellow one) but baby steps people! I'm not used to being seen. I like to fade into the background. Another problem I hope to conquer one day.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
This isn't about my weight loss at all but I feel the need this morning to interject some real life.
"What is it about love that makes us so stupid". This is a line from one of my favorite movies, Under the Tuscan Sun. It's not something that I've thought about much but, because of yesterday, it keeps running through my mind.
I spent a total of over three hours on the phone yesterday with my highly intelligent, mature and well put together daughter listening to her cry and cry and cry over a breakup. A breakup over someone she has been dating three months.
A couple of years ago she broke up with a boyfriend that she had dated for two years. It was a very unhealthy relationship and I was glad it was over. She, on the other hand, was devastated. She cried and cried and cried. I understood because, after all, they had dated a long time and she was young.
This current breakup, however, has me stumped. HOW could she be SO heartbroken over this boy. Honestly, I've met the boy and he didn't have a whole lot to offer. HOW can my mature, highly intelligent, balanced daughter have fallen so hard for someone who from all I could see wasn't that interested in her in the first place?
My daughter is an analytical thinker. She has this insatiable need to understand things. When it comes to calculated things such as math, statistics, etc. she is brilliant. When it comes to human behavior she is stumped. (She aces her college math and yet has trouble with management) This characteristic leads her to engage in what some see (especially the ex boyfriends) in clingy and sometimes stalker type behavior. She can't let them go until she understands why they broke up with her.
In this particular case she saw he removed their relationship from "facebook". A highly immature thing to put there in the first place (his idea) but none the less, when she saw he removed it she called him. Why? What would it accomplish? Not a thing, and yet, her insatiable need to understand his behavior forced her to call him.
During our conversations yesterday statements were made such as "driving by his house", texting him, talking to him, etc. These I highly discouraged. I asked her to stop and think what any of these actions would accomplish. Whether in the long run good or harm would be done. Would she feel better or worse. Would she be exhibiting dignity or desperation. I just don't know, though. In the throws of emotional chaos anything can happen.
As with all breakups she has experienced, the boy wants to remain friends. This, of course, is to try to make himself feel better. This also results in mixed signals of texting, talking to in public (only if he initiates though. If she initiates she's clingy) and, a casual invite to eat with other friends.
Truth be told, this is unfair to her. She is trying to get a clear idea of where they stand and while it is only unclear to her, it is still unclear in her mind and she wants to understand...bring in the stalker behavior.
This is why the statement "what is it about love that makes us so stupid" has rung true in my world this week.
The good part is that once she is over the emotional period her intellect will kick in and she'll start to see and understand better what happened and realize he was not good for her. She'll learn the lessons she's learned and try really hard not to repeat them. And, hopefully, be more cautious about giving her heart away so quickly next time.