One size smaller!

Don't tell my daughter, but I snuck a pair of her jeans out of the laundry (the clean laundry) and tried them on!  She wears a 14, I WAS a 16, but not anymore!  Woohoo!

For those of you who are keeping track, no I didn't weigh in on Tuesday.  I missed my meeting again.  I didn't skip like I did on my birthday.  My daughter had a band concert so I chose her instead of my meeting. 

I am excited, though, to get into smaller jeans.

Sunday is "Senior Sunday" at our church.  I have a senior and I am going to have to stand up in front of everyone with my husband and daughter.  This is my VERY LEAST favorite thing to do.  I am happy to work behind the scenes but I hate, hate, hate standing up in front of everyone.

So, I'll shop today and tomorrow to find something that isn't jeans (my usual church wardrobe - I work in children's church).  Maybe a dress?  I hate to spend the money because I am committed to still losing about 40 lbs.  (Isn't that exciting to say 40 instead of 50? )

Wish me luck.  You know I hate shopping.  Maybe I'll find some cute shoes to make it all easier. 

(click on the picture to see my favorite jeans of all time.  Gap, perfect boot cut.  I luuuv their curvy, too)

Dinner for only 5 points. Yum

This is dinner tonight.

4 oz grilled chicken - 3 points
1 tbs yogurt dressing - 1 point
lettuce - 0 points
tomatos - 0 points
fruit salad - 0 points

Yum.

Weigh in and Dresses, lots of dresses

Well, friends, I didn't do so good the past couple of weeks. If you recall, last week, instead of attending my meeting and getting weighed I went out for my birthday.  I splurged because it was my birthday.  Since then, however, I have really fallen off watching what I eat.  I have been "eyeballing" portions, eating out frequently and, while trying to order healthy, really not making wise choices.  So, last night the weigh in, for two weeks, was only 1.6 lbs lost.  FOR TWO WEEKS!  I believe that part of that was gaining back what I'd lost the week before my birthday.  In fact I know it was because according to my bathroom scale I'm up two to three pounds from what I was on my birthday.  Wow!  It's really easy for it to come back.

So I'm back on regular schedule.  My total weight loss to date is 9.8 lbs.  I am pleased with that.  I'd never thought it possible only one month ago.  I am, however, disappointed in myself for my lack of control the last week.

Now for dresses.  I love dresses! I adore dresses!  but at my size I feel like a giant balloon in them.  I see other "women of size" wearing dresses and they look so cute, but when I pick one out, well, it just doesn't suit me.  I feel my lack of desire to shop (see here) added to my complete lack of skill in picking clothes keeps me in tshirts and capri pants most of my days.

Here are some dreamy dresses I hope to get into one day.  I realize I won't be one of the size 0-2 models, but when I reach my goal I'll be able to wear these with confidence.  (Click on the pictures and it'll take you to their respective websites.)

I know they are simple, not bold colors (except for the yellow one) but baby steps people!  I'm not used to being seen.  I like to fade into the background.  Another problem I hope to conquer one day.

Interject Real Life

This isn't about my weight loss at all but I feel the need this morning to interject some real life.

"What is it about love that makes us so stupid".  This is a line from one of my favorite movies, Under the Tuscan Sun.  It's not something that I've thought about much but, because of yesterday, it keeps running through my mind.

I spent a total of over three hours on the phone yesterday with my highly intelligent, mature and well put together daughter listening to her cry and cry and cry over a breakup.  A breakup over someone she has been dating three months. 

A couple of years ago she broke up with a boyfriend that she had dated for two years.  It was a very unhealthy relationship and I was glad it was over.  She, on the other hand, was devastated.  She cried and cried and cried.  I understood because, after all, they had dated a long time and she was young.

This current breakup, however, has me stumped.  HOW could she be SO heartbroken over this boy.  Honestly, I've met the boy and he didn't have a whole lot to offer.  HOW can my mature, highly intelligent, balanced daughter have fallen so hard for someone who from all I could see wasn't that interested in her in the first place? 

My daughter is an analytical thinker.  She has this insatiable need to understand things.  When it comes to calculated things such as math, statistics, etc.  she is brilliant.  When it comes to human behavior she is stumped.  (She aces her college math and yet has trouble with management)  This characteristic leads her to engage in what some see (especially the ex boyfriends) in clingy and sometimes stalker type behavior.  She can't let them go until she understands why they broke up with her. 

In this particular case she saw he removed their relationship from "facebook".  A highly immature thing to put there in the first place (his idea) but none the less, when she saw he removed it she called him.  Why?  What would it accomplish?  Not a thing, and yet, her insatiable need to understand his behavior forced her to call him. 

During our conversations yesterday statements were made such as "driving by his house", texting him, talking to him, etc.  These I highly discouraged. I asked her to stop and think what any of these actions would accomplish.  Whether in the long run good or harm would be done.  Would she feel better or worse.  Would she be exhibiting dignity or desperation.  I just don't know, though.   In the throws of emotional chaos anything can happen.  

As with all breakups she has experienced, the boy wants to remain friends.  This, of course, is to try to make himself feel better.  This also results in mixed signals of texting, talking to in public (only if he initiates though.  If she initiates she's clingy) and, a casual invite to eat with other friends. 

Truth be told, this is unfair to her.  She is trying to get a clear idea of where they stand and while it is only unclear to her, it is still unclear in her mind and she wants to understand...bring in the stalker behavior. 

This is why the statement "what is it about love that makes us so stupid" has rung true in my world this week.

The good part is that once she is over the emotional period her intellect will kick in and she'll start to see and understand better what happened and realize he was not good for her.  She'll learn the lessons she's learned and try really hard not to repeat them.  And, hopefully, be more cautious about giving her heart away so quickly next time.

I skipped my meeting and ate cake instead.

I didn't go to my Weight Watcher meeting tonight.  Instead I went out, ate marvelous seafood with my family and afterwards ate cake.  Why?  Because it's my birthday! yay! 

I led my mother along on my rebellious path as she is my weight watchers guru and she ate marvelous seafood and cake with me.  She said "worry about it tomorrow". 

But you know what?  I WON'T worry about it tomorrow.  I won't worry about it...ever!  I'll just enjoy today for what it was and then tomorrow, pick up where I left off. 

I'm not in any competition except with myself.  I am on a long journey and, sometimes on long journeys you need a pit stop or two.  And for goodness sake, if you can't take a pit stop on your birthday then what's the use in taking the journey in the first place?

I hope ya'll had just as great a day as I had. 

Exercise Plan - not as easy as it sounds

Before I joined Weight Watchers I had an exercise plan in place.  I have been walking regularly with a friend since September. We had initially decided that we would do a program called "Couch to 5K".  However, once we began walking neither of us really had the, um,  motivation to begin running.  It didn't sound like fun, just something that we felt we should do for our health, but also our weight.

In January we decided we would begin the program. The program has you start off running 30 seconds and then walking a minute... or something like that....and you progress, increasing your running time, until within 6 weeks you are able to run a 5 k. 

Well my friends, it has not been easy.  Maybe if you are a teenager or a 20 something you can progress as quickly as it says, but for my friend and I, not so much.  We have made progress, we are running up to three minutes at a time, five if we really wanted to push ourselves, but consistently three. 

We did participate in a 5k a few weeks ago.  I can't say we "ran a 5k" because there was more walking than running, however, we did finish.

Now, what I will say is that even though I haven't progressed as fast as I would like and I'm not a marathon runner by now, I DO feel so much stronger and healthier.  I remember the first time I bounded up my stairs and was surprised to find I wasn't winded.  I find myself much less tired in the middle of the day. 

One key that makes this work for me is having a friend hold me accountable.  I know she is expecting me to show up at her house every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to participate in this dual torture we have agreed to.  I couldn't do it without her.

So, if you are a interested in a running program, I'd suggest the "Couch to 5k" and if you can get up to running a 5K, Congratulations!  If not, give yourself a little leniency and do what you can.  It does make you feel better.

I Tried to Make a Pie

I made a pie this week using a Weight Watchers recipe.  It was good, but honestly, not worth the points.

I'll share the recipe anyway just in case some of you just love this kind of pie.  It's a lemon pie.  AND, if you aren't counting points it is a really good low fat pie.

6 whole reduced fat cinnamon graham crackers

2 Tbs butter

11 oz fat free sweetened condensed milk

1/2 C fresh lemon juice

2 large eggs

1 Tbs lemon zest

• Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  
• Grind graham crackers in a food processor until fine crumbs form. Or place crackers in a resealable plastic bag and crush with a rolling pin. Place crumbs in a small bowl.
  
• Melt butter on stove top or in microwave and pour over graham cracker crumbs, mixing with a fork until completely moistened. Press crumbs evenly onto bottom of a 9-inch pie pan; place crust in refrigerator while preparing lemon filling.
  
• In a medium bowl, combine condensed milk and eggs; mix until smooth. Add lemon juice and zest; stir until incorporated and pour into prepared crust.
  
• Bake pie for 15 minutes. Cool completely and for best flavor, serve chilled. Yields 1 piece per serving. 
•  find the recipe here

 Now, each slice is 4 points.  Each slice is also about an inch to an inch and a half wide. sooo...
in my world that equates to four bites at the most.

Now, for those of you who wish to be educated in points,  this is also four points.

For me, the choice is clear.  Although I am a huge fan of lemon, chocolate wins every time!

Me

I didn't take a picture of myself when I started this weight loss journey.  Honestly, I wasn't too excited about seeing myself at that size, nor did I take the measurements they recommended prior to beginning.  Looking back I wish I had.  It is encouraging to see the scale go down but really, I want to  be smaller and I'd love to know the amount of inches I've lost. (though most of it is probably in the boobs!)

So here I am, "officially" 8.2 lbs lighter than when I started, but still about 40 lbs to go.  Please ignore my swinchy face.  I was trying to focus for the camera.

Also, please ignore my HIDEOUS striped wall paper.  That is a project for another day.

Weigh-In

Well last night was the dreaded weigh in.  I lost another three pounds.  A total of 8 pounds.  Not bad for two weeks.

I've had a pretty easy time so far.  I'm learning to make better choices in my food quality and quantity.  For instance, tonight I want chick-fil-a. I've planned my day around my dinner.  I had one of my 2 point smoothies for breakfast, a 7 point lean quisine for lunch and fruit for a snack this afternoon.  So, I can get my diet lemonade, grilled sandwich and yes...a small waffle fries.  It will all fit in my points for the day.  AND since I ran this morning I can have a piece of chocolate for desert at bedtime if I want to.

If this sounds kindof obsessive, it is sometimes.  Honestly, though, it's really not  most of the time.  I just want chick fil a for dinner which surprisingly is REALLY high in points so I need to plan.

I plan on loosing at least 50 pounds so this is what I have to do.

First Purchases

I'm making a list of things I want to get when I hit my goal weight.  Here are my first choices:

Weekends are hard.

In this weight loss journey weekends are hard.  My family is all home, we are going fast forward all weekend and fast food is what naturally goes along with all of the activity.

My husband loves to eat out so we ate out twice this weekend at two different yet awesome mexican food restaurants.  I tried to make wise choices but it's not easy with the amount of food they serve, tortillias with everything and the chips....oh those chips!  I would find myself munching on a chip and not even remembering picking it up.  Habits are really hard to break.

I do know though, that this is a long journey so I'm not too hard on myself.  I know I'll learn better menu choices to make as I go along as well as breaking nasty habits such as instinctively grabbing up the chips.

Oh yeah, also it was my daughter's birthday so, yes, a cupcake did pass my lips.  But I walked twice so it should be okay.

I'm glad to get back to a routine this week.  It's much easier.

It has to be easy.

I am a very low maintenance kind of girl.  Not that I am low maintenance, but I want everything else to be low maintenance.  I've found (made up) a great breakfast recipie that keeps me satisfied most of the morning and has very low points, two to be exact.  It is for a smoothie but I've found I hate messing with my blender.

You see, at one time in my life I fancied myself a gourmet cook.  And while I lacked the skills to be one, by golly, I was going to have the tools!  So, you'll find my kitchen chock full of Breville, Kitchen-Aid and All-Clad cookware and appliances.  So, in that line of thinking I also have a blender that, if called upon to do so, could shred a two by four block.  It is big, bulky and of all dumb things to buy, a glass pitcher.  I find that dragging it out day after day, washing it day after day is not my idea of low maintenance.  So....

I bought a magic bullet.  This little machine really is easy for my breakfast smoothies.  It has self contained cups, quick on and off, easily washed/rinsed blades.  It has everything I need to help with my breakfasts (which I am finding is the hardest meal to manage).

I haven't put all of its' abilities to the test but for my breakfasts, it's awesome!

Here's the simple recipe I use. 
1/2 C Skim Milk
1/2 C Lowfat Plain Yogurt
and then any kind of fruit you want.  (fruit has no points you see).

Blend, add a straw and drink up.  If you add frozen fruit you can also have a lovely sorbet for an afternoon snack.

The beginning.

I hate shopping.  I really do.  Not because I don't like shops, not because I don't like crowds, not because it's too expensive.  Truth be told.  I can't fit into anything.  I hate finding a shirt that I love and trying it on only to see it wont fit.  Wow!   and I picked up a large?  Deflating, defeating, disgusting.  That is what I feel when I shop.  But I am going to change all that. 

This will be a chronology of my losing weight.  You see, I've joined Weight Watchers.  I've finally done it.  Admitted I'm overweight.  I've known I'm overweight and have let myself go, I just thought if I didn't admit it, then no one else would see. 

I've tried on my own but, after getting to the dreaded 200 mark (yes, I did just admit what I weighed), well, I realized I just didn't know how or have the tools.  So, I joined with my mom. 

My mom has done weight watchers for as long as I can remember.  She has lost weight on it so I know it works. 

I've begun this blog for two reasons.  First, and foremost, so I'll have a place to talk about the stuff that I experience so I don't bug my family with constantly talking about food and "points".  Second, so I might, after a time, have a little accountability.  I don't want to ever be this big again.

I've been on weight watchers for one and a half weeks.  I had my first weigh-in last Tuesday and I lost 4.8 lbs.  I was really surprised.  I didn't feel hungry and just stopped eating all the stuff I used to eat.  Well, I pretty much ate the same stuff but I only ate about one half to one third of what I used to eat.

Wow!  I used to cram it in my gob!  and there were so many little things ....like the creamer I used to liberally add to my coffee.  I've cut that back and haven't even noticed.  I went out to eat several times during that first week and just chose menu items more carefully.

I have to admit though, this second week is a little harder than the first.  I've found myself hungrier and having more cravings.  Of course it didn't help that this was the week I had my period.  That is never a good time to try to eat an apple instead of a donut.  But I stuck to it.  I did go over my "points" yesterday but I haven't tapped into my extra points nor my activity points since I started so I figured 2 points over wasn't too bad.

So, there you go.  That's the start.  I'm hoping to share more with you about my experiences and how things are going.  I hope that maybe you'll be inspired or I can answer your questions or you can get a little courage. 

It's not that bad and afterall, we girls always are looking for cuter clothes.